One of the great things about traveling to new places is that you get to meet people you never would have encountered had you stayed home.
For the two weeks I will be here in Negril, I decided that I will walk six miles a day. From my cottage - Silver Star Outback - in the center of Negril, it is three miles to the Lighthouse along the cliffs, and three miles to the end of the beach. Thus, I set out in either direction each afternoon and come back in the evening after having taken a long walk.Today, I set out towards the cliffs. About ten minutes after leaving the cottage, I saw Miss Pamela across the road. Miss Pamela crochets hats and bags and sells them by the road for a living. She called me across the street and I went to greet her. I wished her a happy new year, and asked her how she had passed the holiday season. She started to say that it was good, but then interrupted herself to tell me that it was also sad, as her daughter had passed away.
Miss Pamela’s daughter, aged 38, had died of ovarian cancer in November. She hadn’t told her mother or anyone else of her diagnosis, and suffered in silence until she died. For her mother, her death was completely unexpected, and, possibly avoidable. She began to shed tears as she told me that her daughter tried to protect her by not telling her, but that she would have moved mountains to save her had she been given the chance. I told Miss Pamela that it was okay to cry. Only a person without a heart wouldn’t cry in the face of such great loss.
Miss Pamela’s daughter left two boys that she now cares for. One is ten, and thus is still in school and Miss Pamela has to find the money each day for school fees, uniforms, and lunch. She shook her head in disbelief that she has been able to provide for the boy. “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away,” she told me.
As a mother, it is unfathomable to me to imagine that my children would leave this earth before I do. As a woman, I was reminded that I need to make an appointment to get my pap smear and mammogram so that I can be sure I am healthy.
Our conversation turned lighter as Miss Pamela asked me about my children and told me stories of how she used to live close to a mutual friend of ours brother many years ago when her children were young. Today, Miss Pamela has 14 grandchildren and three granddaughters. She lamented the relative lack of little girls among her grandchildren. When she asked about my twins, she told me one of her sisters had five sets of twins!
Before leaving her stand, I bought a crocheted hat from Miss Pamela. I wanted to do something to alleviate her stress and depression. I got a green, gold, red, and black striped crocheted skull cap that I put on as I left.
As I walked up the road towards the lighthouse, I thought about our conversation and how ephemeral life is. I don’t like to think about that too much, so I quickly began to muse about other things as I appreciated the great blue sea to my right.
When I came back down the hill, I reflected on the fact that today, unlike most days, all of the Jamaican men who called out to me during my walk were respectful. Instead of hissing or shouting “hey baby” or “do you need a man?,” people greeted me with a smile and a “good afternoon.” A couple of young men did flirt, but their flirtations were polite and not too insistent.
Perhaps it was just a fluke. Perhaps it was the cap. I will have to wear it again tomorrow to find out.
Funny, though. I purchased the cap to help Miss Pamela out, to remember her, and to remind myself to make an OB/GYN appointment when I get back to the United States. Sometimes you do something that has unanticipated positive consequences.
One of the great things about traveling is the people you encounter and the conversations you have. The trip will be over soon, but the memories will linger.
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