Unanticipated Benefits: A Story, a Hat, and a Long Walk

One of the great things about traveling to new places is that you get to meet people you never would have encountered had you stayed home.

For the two weeks I will be here in Negril, I decided that I will walk six miles a day. From my cottage - Silver Star Outback - in the center of Negril, it is three miles to the Lighthouse along the cliffs, and three miles to the end of the beach. Thus, I set out in either direction each afternoon and come back in the evening after having taken a long walk.

Today, I set out towards the cliffs. About ten minutes after leaving the cottage, I saw Miss Pamela across the road. Miss Pamela crochets hats and bags and sells them by the road for a living. She called me across the street and I went to greet her. I wished her a happy new year, and asked her how she had passed the holiday season. She started to say that it was good, but then interrupted herself to tell me that it was also sad, as her daughter had passed away.

Miss Pamela’s daughter, aged 38, had died of ovarian cancer in November. She hadn’t told her mother or anyone else of her diagnosis, and suffered in silence until she died. For her mother, her death was completely unexpected, and, possibly avoidable. She began to shed tears as she told me that her daughter tried to protect her by not telling her, but that she would have moved mountains to save her had she been given the chance. I told Miss Pamela that it was okay to cry. Only a person without a heart wouldn’t cry in the face of such great loss.

Miss Pamela’s daughter left two boys that she now cares for. One is ten, and thus is still in school and Miss Pamela has to find the money each day for school fees, uniforms, and lunch. She shook her head in disbelief that she has been able to provide for the boy. “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away,” she told me.

As a mother, it is unfathomable to me to imagine that my children would leave this earth before I do. As a woman, I was reminded that I need to make an appointment to get my pap smear and mammogram so that I can be sure I am healthy.

Our conversation turned lighter as Miss Pamela asked me about my children and told me stories of how she used to live close to a mutual friend of ours brother many years ago when her children were young. Today, Miss Pamela has 14 grandchildren and three granddaughters. She lamented the relative lack of little girls among her grandchildren. When she asked about my twins, she told me one of her sisters had five sets of twins!

Before leaving her stand, I bought a crocheted hat from Miss Pamela. I wanted to do something to alleviate her stress and depression. I got a green, gold, red, and black striped crocheted skull cap that I put on as I left.

As I walked up the road towards the lighthouse, I thought about our conversation and how ephemeral life is. I don’t like to think about that too much, so I quickly began to muse about other things as I appreciated the great blue sea to my right.

When I came back down the hill, I reflected on the fact that today, unlike most days, all of the Jamaican men who called out to me during my walk were respectful.  Instead of hissing or shouting “hey baby” or “do you need a man?,” people greeted me with a smile and a “good afternoon.” A couple of young men did flirt, but their flirtations were polite and not too insistent.

Perhaps it was just a fluke. Perhaps it was the cap. I will have to wear it again tomorrow to find out.

Funny, though. I purchased the cap to help Miss Pamela out, to remember her, and to remind myself to make an OB/GYN appointment when I get back to the United States. Sometimes you do something that has unanticipated positive consequences.

One of the great things about traveling is the people you encounter and the conversations you have. The trip will be over soon, but the memories will linger.

Walking in Negril: No Problem, Mon

Seven Mile Beach, Negril

There are many ways to get around Negril: private taxis, route taxis, hotel buses, bicycles, and on foot. Few visitors to Negril are aware that you can actually walk from one end of town to another. If you walk at a leisurely pace, you can get from the Lighthouse on the West End all the way to Beaches on the far end of the beach in about 3 hours.

From Beaches, you can continue along a 100 meter path and come out on the other side to another public beach. From there, there is another Beaches, and then Hedonism. The Seven Mile Beach ends there. If you walk it, you might realize that the beach is not actually seven miles, despite the name. It is about four miles from Norman Manley Public Beach to the end of Hedonism. From point to point, all of Negril is about 7 miles long: Four miles of beach; One mile from the beach to the edge of downtown; and Three miles up to the Lighthouse.

One nice walk in Negril is from the Canoe Bar at the beginning of the West End up to the Lighthouse at the far end of the West End. This would take about 90 minutes if you didn’t stop along the way. But, stops along the way are the best part. You can have a delicious lunch at the Canoe Bar or Easy Rock Café before heading on your journey, and will have plenty of time to get to Rick’s Café to see the sunset.

View from the Lighthouse

If you walk during the summer months, it is best to wait until about 4pm to start your journey as it can be too hot otherwise. In the winter, however, you can do this walk almost any time of the day.

One excellent place to stop along the way is Xtabi, a restaurant and hotel with an amazing view of the cliffs. If you are feeling brave, you can jump off of Xtabi’s cliffs or swim out to one of their caves. If you want to keep your hiking gear dry, you can explore the caves without getting into the water. If you eat here, the conch burger is quite tasty! Xtabi is a great place to stop and cool off, as the rest of the walk is mostly shaded, especially after the sun begins to go behind the trees (about 3pm).

Just next to Xtabi is Three Dives, which also has an amazing view of the cliffs, and delicious jerk conch and chicken if you are hungry. If not, you can relax with a Red Stripe or my favorite, Dragon Stout, on their benches that overlook the sea.

From Three Dives, it is about a 30 minute walk up to Rick’s Café, where you can walk in and watch all of the cliff jumpers and take in the beautiful view. You also can swim here in the transparent water to cool off before heading up to the Lighthouse, which does not have swimming.

The Lighthouse is about a twenty minute walk from Rick’s Café. This is my favorite part of the walk. Once you get past Rick’s Café, there are very few vendors, lots of vegetation, and many different views of the sea. It is also cooler as there is plenty of shade and often a nice sea breeze.

The view at the Lighthouse is spectacular, and there usually is a cool breeze blowing. The snorkeling at the Lighthouse is fantastic as well. You just have to have the guts to walk down the steep wooden ladder, across the rocks and into the sea. You can stay at the Lighthouse to watch the sunset, or go back to any of the many bars and restaurants you saw along the way to relax and witness the sun dropping into the sea.

If you are up for it, you can walk back…. downhill. Or, you can catch a ride in the many route taxis that run up and down One Love Drive.

One caveat: There is no sidewalk along One Love Drive. For this reason, it is best to do this walk during the day. At night, it can be quite alarming, with cars speeding past you.

Traveling Solo: Not scared to be alone

I am traveling alone in Jamaica, and reflecting on what it means for a mother and a wife to be alone.

When I met my husband, Fernando, in 1999 in Rio de Janeiro, I was traveling alone. I wanted to go to South America and could find no one to accompany me. My brother had promised to come, but backed out at the last minute. So, I called my friend Fabio in Rio and told him I was coming to Brazil.

In 1999, I was 25 years old and ready for an adventure. I got what I was looking for when I met Fernando and became a traveling hippie selling beaded necklaces on the side of the road throughout Brazil, Bolivia, and Peru.

I have not traveled alone since. At least, I have not traveled for more than a day or two as I make my way somewhere to meet someone.

In late 2010, I found myself in a situation similar to 1999. I wanted to travel and no one wanted to or could come with me. My children couldn’t come because they have school. My husband would have to stay to look after them. My friends and siblings had too much work or not enough money. I decided that this would not stop me. I wanted to go to Jamaica in early 2011, and I would make my plans regardless of whether or not anyone would come with me.

On January 1, 2011, I woke up in Miami with the realization that the day had come. I was getting ready to board a plane to Negril, Jamaica. By myself. I admit that I briefly considered not going. I am not sure what I was scared of.

Was I scared to be alone? When I was younger, I hated having time to sit around and think because, inevitably, those times would bring back memories of frightful moments or realizations that people I cared for deeply had been harmed. So, I kept going, going, and going so I would not have to think about those things.

My mother says you can’t just push back your fears and feelings: you have to deal with them. I am not sure if I processed all of those memories, or if they really have receded, but I now can sit alone and remember a few horrible moments in my life without breaking down in tears. So, I don’t think I was scared of being alone.

I may have been scared of coming alone to Jamaica, of being put in harm’s way. Of course, I know that Negril is much safer than many urban areas in the United States where I have lived. Nevertheless, as a woman who walks alone, I also know that I can be in danger anywhere. Now that I am here, I feel safe nearly all of the time except for the 20 steps I have to take each evening through a dark path between the hardware store and my cottage.

I once had a boyfriend who practiced martial arts. He told me that I should run if I ever had to walk down a dark street alone at night as I would be less likely to be attacked. At the time, I lived behind Prince George’s Mall outside of Washington, DC, and had to walk through a badly lit apartment complex each evening when I came home from work. I always ran.

Here in Negril, the first night I had to walk through that badly lit driveway, I ran. In my second step, I tripped on a huge stone and cut my hand open. I have not deigned to run down that path since.

Back to being alone. I sit here in my cottage, listening to schoolchildren play during the day and dogs bark at night. As I spend nearly all of my time alone, I don’t get to smile and laugh with friends or make jokes and play with my children. I don’t get to share a meal or an embrace with my husband. However, I know my solitude is temporary and have resolved to make the most of it.

Being alone, I can be completely relaxed all of the time. I can be calm and reflective. I can get up when I please. My mind is clear. I have only to worry about my needs. I am at peace.
Today is January 6, my fifth day alone. I have nine more days to myself. When these two weeks are over, I can go back to being part of the family and community I love and cherish. For now, I will focus on me.

Focusing on me means eating whatever and whenever I please. For now, I have decided to be vegetarian and to abstain from alcohol. Focusing on me means taking very long walks on the beach without worrying I have been gone too long. And focusing on me means spending my mornings writing without worrying about distractions.

My solitude feels good. I am not scared to be alone.

How to Stop Time?

When I was on leave last year from my university position, the days passed by slowly, allowing me to enjoy each of them as they came and went. Now that I have been back at work for four months, I miss those times.

On the last day of my 14-month leave in early August 2010, I wrote this…

I am sitting in my rented cottage in Negril, waiting for the driver, Leroy, to come pick me and my suitcase up. From where I am sitting, I can see abundant greenery – palm trees, ackee trees, and lots of small green bushes. The sky is clear, with just a few clouds floating overhead. It is a beautiful, calm morning in Negril. Negril is a truly fabulous piece of Mother Earth, and I have been very fortunate to spend these past two and a half months here.

It is hard to believe this year is over, just as it was hard to believe that I actually was going to do this – take my family to live in four different countries over a period of 14 months. When I applied for the funding, I thought I would never actually get it. When I heard I had been awarded the Fulbright-Hays Faculty Research Abroad Award, I still was not sure how I would pull it off. But, I did. We did – my husband and my three children survived all of our escapades. Survived, and even thrived.

As I am apprehensive about returning, I have to remind myself that I was apprehensive about leaving. Life is like that – things always seem different when they are actually happening. When faced with new situations, we adapt. Once we adapt, we just start living, day to day. Once life starts happening, we just get into the rhythm.

Looking back on this, I fear I allowed myself to get into the rhythm perhaps a bit too much. How can we enjoy life when it seems to fly by so quickly? Time, of course, cannot be stopped, but, surely there is a way to enjoy life more, to take pause each day and enjoy each passing moment.

The semester is over for me, and it has flown by all too quickly. I am now packing my bags to leave Lawrence for four weeks. During this time that I am on the road – in Washington, DC with my family, in Miami with friends, and in Negril, alone – I will reflect on how quickly life is passing me by and do my best to enjoy each passing moment.

Perhaps I will even feel inspired to post a blog entry about it….

Until then,
Tanya

Children's Museum in Kansas City: Wonderscope

This past weekend, I took the kids to Wonderscope in Shawnee, Kansas. They had a fabulous time!

We had been members before, when my twins were six and my younger daughter was four. So, I wasn't sure if it would still be fun for my twins who are now nine. But, it definitely still was appealing to them. We arrived at Wonderscope at 1:30pm, and they still were not ready to leave when it was time to go at 5pm!

Raymi had a blast in the building section. There are these huge blue building blocks, made of a soft, light material that kids can use to construct whatever they want to. Raymi and I made a fortress, and she is pictured here guarding it.

Tatiana and Soraya spent quite a bit of time in the "Garden to Farm" room. In this room, you can pretend to plant vegetables, and then take them to market to sell. Tatiana is pictured above on the left choosing which veggies to buy. There also is a chicken coop and a barn. Soraya is pictured above on the right with the barn owl. There were about a half-dozen other kids in the room with them, and that made it fun for the kids, as they had someone else to play with.

The art room was very cool. There are tons of recycled art supplies that you can use to make whatever you want. The girls spent at least 30 minutes in that room, making pictures and gluing things on them. I even tried my hand at it, trying to re-connect with my creative side.

To top it all off, we got to see a beautiful sunset on the 40-minute drive back to Lawrence, Kansas.

A few of my favorite things about Lawrence, Kansas

View of KU from Fraser Hall

I first moved to Lawrence, Kansas in August 2005. I have lived here off and on since then, with over two full years away from Lawrence. In August 2010, I returned to Lawrence after having been away for over a year. I was not very excited about moving back. However, I have been surprised at how much I like living here again.

Here are a few of my favorite things about Lawrence, Kansas.

1) The campus.
I work at the University of Kansas. Admittedly, the view from the 7th floor of Fraser Hall, one of the highest points in Kansas, is quite majestic. The campus has large limestone buildings and plenty of green spaces. It also has some pretty cool public art.

Public Art in South Park

2) Public Art.

The picture on the left is one example of the public art on the KU campus in Lawrence. I am not sure how to describe it, but it is basically a bunch of twigs wrapped together around a huge tree. Pretty interesting, eh?

Campus is not the only place that has public art made with dead trees. The picture on the right is the spiky entrance to South Park.

Castle Tea House

3) Cool buildings.
There are also cool buildings that are not on campus. The picture on the right is the Castle Tea House. I think it is pretty cool to live a couple of blocks from a castle!




















4) No big-city hassle. A big advantage to living in a small town like Lawrence is that you do not have many of the hassles of a big city. Grocery stores are never unbearably crowded. There is almost never anyone at the Department of Motor Vehicles. And, you hardly ever need a reservation to get a nice meal. In addition, the restaurants are remarkably affordable.

Pictured right are my and my husband's $10 lunches we had at the Eldridge hotel!

Lawrence, Kansas is not so bad after all.

Traveling without Writing: My first post in 90 days

I have been back in Kansas for nearly three months, and have not posted a single travel blog entry since my return.

It is not that I have not traveled - I conferenced in Toronto for a few days and went caving in Missouri not too long ago. Nevertheless, I have not had a word to write on this blog.

I thought about writing about the wonderful food and vibrant diversity in Toronto. I was particularly proud of myself for maneuvering public transportation to and from the airport, and thought of a whole blog post about that. But, I never wrote it.

I had a fabulous view from my hotel window in Toronto. I took a picture of the night-time view and shared it on Facebook, but I never wrote about all the delicious restaurants nearby or the amazing fresh fruit and vegetable stands in Chinatown.

I also never wrote about the camping trip I took with my family to Blue Springs Ranch in Missouri. I wanted to write about how nice the owner was and how friendly the horses were with the children.

Caving in Missouri was fabulous. I do have photos to prove it. We also went horseback riding and camping, and have plenty of wonderful memories of our short trip there. But, I never did post about it.

It's not that I haven't been writing. I have been writing - a lot! But, my writing has been academic or political. Nothing just for fun.

I did get an iphone since I returned to the US, and have been posting captioned photos to Facebook that provide quick snapshots into my life in Kansas. I keep thinking that I will go back to those photos and write up blog entries. But, alas, I have not.

Until now. Here it is: my first blog entry in 90 days.